It can be isolating & shameful, but many people with ADHD struggle to be consistent with personal hygiene.

For me - teeth brushing can be a struggle and before I knew about ADHD, it was an embarrassing and shameful struggle. It turns out that I’m not alone in my struggles.

Inattentiveness can cause forgetfulness or distractibility when it comes to showering & teeth brushing. Poor working memory - responsible for ‘out of sight, out of mind’ can impact on hygiene routines.

Hyperactivity & impulsivity make it difficult to not rush through tasks. Showering and teeth brushing aren’t tasks where there’s a lot of moving around, and staying in one spot can be painful to those with hyperactivity.

Sensory sensitivities are common too, which can make teeth brushing or showering uncomfortable for those with touch, sound or even light (harsh bathroom lights) sensitivities.

Hyperactivity is not just running around shouting. Impulsivity isn't just big gestures like getting a tattoo or skydiving.

For me, hyperactivity is an internal restlessness, racing thoughts & trouble being in the moment. Impulsivity is a feeling of impatience & the need to cut short my thinking time to act.

⁣Having anxiety as well as ADHD meant that pre diagnosis I’d often use the word anxious or nervous instead of restless. These days I can untangle the two a little easier! ⁣

For me, anxiety is fear based, hyperactivity doesn’t have fear attached to actions or thoughts.

I can leave the house early due to anxiety or hyperactivity, or both. With anxiety, I’d leave early because I’d be worried about being late to meet friends. I worry that they’ll be mad, I worry about parking or if I somehow get delayed.

With hyperactivity, I may still have 3 hours before I need to leave, and plenty to do but I just need to leave now. It’s like my brain is chanting “go, go, go” and sitting around waiting is uncomfortable!

Confession time! I honestly thought an ADHD diagnosis would be enough validation to make me feel instantly confident! ⁣

Turns out, it takes more than a day to reverse years of low self-esteem! My late ADHD diagnosis didn’t instantly undo years of negative self talk and my tendency to overwork myself. It’s taking time.⁣

It’s all part of the progress I’m making in understanding my ADHD.

So what has helped?

• acknowledging my wins and sharing them

• spending time pursuing things I enjoy doing

• reducing negative self talk and self deprecation

• surrounding myself with those who see the best in me

• accepting compliments from people

• not using comparison to measure my worth

The worry of being seen as lazy can still cause me to work to the point of burnout. I’ve learnt more about how my ADHD and low self esteem from ADHD can cause overwork.

Inattentiveness may cause me to not take note of how tired I really am. My attention may switch into hyperfocus which can be hard to snap out of. Impulsivity can cause me to not take breaks because I need to ‘just do 5 minutes more’.

I used to overwork as a way of "redeeming myself". In my mind, it somehow paid this invisible debt I had for me simply having ADHD.⁣

Deep down, I know I try my best and that overworking doesn't equal worth, but even now at times it’s hard to stop my brain being a tangled mess of thoughts simultaneously screaming at me to give more 𝐚𝐧𝐝 that I can't give more.

It’s taking time to learn boundaries with work. To learn my limits with choosing my workload⁣.

Finding my self worth in things outside of work & finding supportive people that can gently check in with me and encourage me to take breaks has been the best help in reducing burnout.

Disclaimer - everyone grieves differently and this is my experience with ADHD and grief

My grief feels like being out at sea, in the midst of a terrible storm.

At times, I'm drifting directionless. Other times, without warning I'm struck with huge waves of emotion.

Being shamed pre-ADHD diagnosis for always being "too emotional" and "too sensitive" impacts my grief. I feel guilt for not "getting over things" fast enough.

I know there's no set time frame or end date for grief, but my ADHD restlessness and impatience feel heightened during this time.

I have two modes of time with ADHD, 'now' and 'not now'. I struggle to conceptualise future time, so advice like, "things get better with time" isn't comforting whilst I’m stuck in the now.

Grief affects my focus, restlessness, impulsivity (emotional response) & ability to keep up with basic self care tasks... which are already a struggle with my ADHD.

Grief also affects my consistency with sleep, routine, meals, and hydration - which impact on my ADHD medication, stopping it from working as effectively.

My ADHD & hyperfocus cause me to fixate on my grief. The obsessive replaying of information increases my anxiety and stress. I experience emotional overwhelm.

I still have a lot to learn about grief, but I know that grief affects my ADHD and is affected by my ADHD.

Acknowledging that helps a little, as I wait out the storm.

Needing others to keep you company as you work (body doubling) doesn't make you a terrible worker.

Needing a visual reminder so you check in with friends doesn't make you a terrible friend.

Needing solutions for things others find easy to do does not make you a bad person!

I often find myself in a cycle with hobbies, starting with hyperfixation, buying all the things needed, starting with enthusiasm…but then giving up on it a few weeks later for something new and exciting!

I used to feel so much guilt for "giving up" on hobbies, despite knowing that it’s so common for those with ADHD to cycle through hyperfixations.

Reframing my guilt to celebrate my curious ADHD brain has been so helpful for me. If you’ve felt guilt over not sticking with hobbies, I hope that this reframe can help you too!

⁣